Progress

I have been successful in my latest endeavors to write poetry.

High five to me.

Here is a link to my gallery  http://distantcricket.deviantart.com/gallery/

Self-promotion!  Yay!

I am all tapped out of words, but I am so happy that I am exercising my grey matter.  Now I just need to feed it.  It is calling out for some knowledge, and is hungering to learn, and weeps wearily that my days are so similar with very little variety.  I am hoping that will improve.  I am so ready to be a working woman again.  Please send good vibes my way.

~Lead me, and let me lean on you, please.  I am so very tired. Amen~

My Birthday was on Monday

I just realized that I'm letting my journal fall by the wayside again (I didn't know that "journaling" isn't a word... I really thought it was.  Hmm... /shrug/).  I have been doing my poetry though, so I don't know if that makes up for it, or if that is just sufficient enough not to berate myself about it.

Either way, I know that I've been able to share my feelings in my poetry, which has not been the case for the past two years, and that the Blogging helped, as I hoped it would.

Right now, I've been using the tools found in my art groups for inspiration and that is a new feeling, instead of just being dictated to by my errant muse.  I'm putting some effort into my pieces, and being proactive, which I guess is a theme.  I need to be more proactive across the board in my life.

~I'm listing.  Thanks for continuing to guide me. Amen~

Sitting with tears in my eyes.

I know that I want to write.  I want to grow. I want to smile.  I just am not sure how to get there.  Sometimes I feel like I might have a grasp on my "muse" and then it's gone.  Sometimes I feel like everything is finally going well, and then another "bump in the road" happens.  I now have about one out of every seven days where I am "up".  I really want that to be a larger number.  I don't feel like I'm asking for too much.  I don't need seven out of seven days "up".

I even tried downloading an app to access my art page, and it didn't work out like I had hoped.

I know there are days where I am so inspired.  My mother told me to start on my business plan now, and the thoughts I've been thinking and the plans I've been planning in my mind for the past few years, unfolded like those "Magic Dino's" that come in capsules where you just add water.  I didn't realize, until I had "permission" to start thinking of my B&B as being in the near future rather than the far off (when I grow up) future, that I had so much already grown in my head.  My dreams are not as hazy as I thought they were.

So I'm sitting here sad, and happy, and scared.

~Please show me. Please guide me. Thank you for making me. Amen~  

Finding more of my old writings.

Now I just need to write more often to exercise that writing muscle. I can convince myself that I'm barely mediocre and then I go back and read some of my pieces and realize I do have talent.

Like my skills with languages,  my writing skills have suffered from disuse. Writing again is on my To Do list. Blogging is helping but I really need to get back to my poetry. I think I should also start writing  essays, just for the practice.

I don't know if I'll ever be a novelist, but it would be a wonderful thing to publish a book of my poems!

~Inspire me, lead me, love me. Amen~

I need to add stuff to my to do list...

I have done most of what's on my To Do lists. I have three: To Do, Research Ideas,  and Goals and Projects.

It's strange,  I'm not sure when the last time was that I was this caught up.  I'm also praying on purpose,  reading meditations,  blogging on the regular,  and applying the advice of my guide to my daily life... and life is good. Not perfect,  but I don't think I would want it to be perfect.  I love my man, and he frustrates me constantly,  and I annoy him to no end. But, he makes me laugh, and I can be myself with him, and he's had lots of practice forgiving me, and vice versa!

My kids are awesome. I'm learning to be a better Mom and a better friend. I'm working on talking to extended family more often.

So what else do I put on my lists?

~Show me, guide me, love me. Thank you. Amen~

It's Variously Hilarious

It's Variously Hilarious. .. Life, that is.
And at times it's heavy.

I'm chomping at the bit to do something, anything,  other than be unemployed.  School, part time, retail... anything.

I've started creating things, and now my brain is gasping for sustenance. I'm feeling so mentally needy!

Got out of the house today and it was wonderful.  I used to do that all the time. I expect I'll get back to it eventually.

Love crochet!

Crocheting hurts my hand when I do it right handed.  It should not surprise me that I have taken so well to crocheting with my left hand (I looked up tutorials on youtube) since I know the basics on how to crochet, it's taken no time to get used to using my left hand to hold the hook. 

I also do some sort of modified, reverse, continental when I knit.  I just don't want my hands to hurt, and I want to knit and crochet. So I do what feels good on my hands and I adapt what I learn from the tutorials to fit.  Of course,  I'm still on basic stitches.  I want to learn more, but feel like I need a more solid foundation before I move on.

~Hold me tonight, I'm so tired. Amen~