It's Almost June Already

I just tried on a pair of jeans for the first time in almost two months -- they fit! It's crazy, I haven't weighed myself since the move because I have yet to located the scale, but it was awesome to try on clothes that I haven't bothered with because I knew they no longer fit, and now they do.

It was the first tangible evidence that my better choices are paying off and once I begin making better exercise/activity choices, I expect quicker results.

Overall, I need a life coach or something to help with the residual attitude issues my children and I carry around with us due to my continual change in locations, about ever two years now (instead of every six months at one point in my life).

I'm getting there, and in the meantime, I plan to continue just making better choices when I have the opportunity -- and loving myself anyway when I don't.

Tomorrow, a new home

We're moving into our new apartment tomorrow. I wonder if it will be as good as I'm hoping. I know that I bring into our new home the same me I was yesterday, and the same hang-ups that my children and I share.

Here's hoping having our own space again will immediately help with some of the tension we carry.

Here's wishing that being closer to friends and my "family by choice" will open new doors for friendship and support to enter more fully in our lives.

fast forward one year and two weeks

It just occurred to me the other day while I was driving home that I have finally reached a point in my weight dance that my actual weight matches what I've seen in the mirror all my life.

As I finish this latest book about the relationship between my mother and the child that I was I realize that for the first time in my life I feel real.

I will be embarking on some "original pain work" and some "inner child healing" according to Jasmin Cori, MS, LPC and her various sources.

While I plan to continue changing how I love myself, I expect that my weight will continue to reflect what I see in the mirror (namely a healthier me) and as a result I will become thinner.

My hope and goal for myself is simply this:

Love myself, not as I want to be, not as others want me to be, but simply as I am.

P.S. I also plan on /being/ a better person...