Finding more of my old writings.

Now I just need to write more often to exercise that writing muscle. I can convince myself that I'm barely mediocre and then I go back and read some of my pieces and realize I do have talent.

Like my skills with languages,  my writing skills have suffered from disuse. Writing again is on my To Do list. Blogging is helping but I really need to get back to my poetry. I think I should also start writing  essays, just for the practice.

I don't know if I'll ever be a novelist, but it would be a wonderful thing to publish a book of my poems!

~Inspire me, lead me, love me. Amen~

I need to add stuff to my to do list...

I have done most of what's on my To Do lists. I have three: To Do, Research Ideas,  and Goals and Projects.

It's strange,  I'm not sure when the last time was that I was this caught up.  I'm also praying on purpose,  reading meditations,  blogging on the regular,  and applying the advice of my guide to my daily life... and life is good. Not perfect,  but I don't think I would want it to be perfect.  I love my man, and he frustrates me constantly,  and I annoy him to no end. But, he makes me laugh, and I can be myself with him, and he's had lots of practice forgiving me, and vice versa!

My kids are awesome. I'm learning to be a better Mom and a better friend. I'm working on talking to extended family more often.

So what else do I put on my lists?

~Show me, guide me, love me. Thank you. Amen~

It's Variously Hilarious

It's Variously Hilarious. .. Life, that is.
And at times it's heavy.

I'm chomping at the bit to do something, anything,  other than be unemployed.  School, part time, retail... anything.

I've started creating things, and now my brain is gasping for sustenance. I'm feeling so mentally needy!

Got out of the house today and it was wonderful.  I used to do that all the time. I expect I'll get back to it eventually.

Love crochet!

Crocheting hurts my hand when I do it right handed.  It should not surprise me that I have taken so well to crocheting with my left hand (I looked up tutorials on youtube) since I know the basics on how to crochet, it's taken no time to get used to using my left hand to hold the hook. 

I also do some sort of modified, reverse, continental when I knit.  I just don't want my hands to hurt, and I want to knit and crochet. So I do what feels good on my hands and I adapt what I learn from the tutorials to fit.  Of course,  I'm still on basic stitches.  I want to learn more, but feel like I need a more solid foundation before I move on.

~Hold me tonight, I'm so tired. Amen~

Can't believe I used to live like this.

I got sober over 9 years ago, but before that I was a daily user of many different types of mind/mood altering substances.  So, here I am taking my meds as directed by my doctor,  and it's helping the pain, and I can feel it when it's wearing off, and yet it is still making me loopy, loopy.  And I used to live like this.  I am grateful for the reminder; I don't want to live this way anymore!!!

My to do list needs to be updated.  I've accomplished so many of my goals. Now I have a few more goals to add.  A few more calls to make.  A few more jobs to track down...

~Thank you, for today's clarity and tomorrow's lessons. Amen~

I need to send thank you notes...

I did a round a few years ago; sending thank you notes around to friends and family to make sure to vocalize my gratitude.   It's starting to feel like I need to do it again.  I guess I should begin with my gratitude list, as has been suggested to me.  I also need to get better at the daily meditations.   I have a book I'm supposed to be reading each day, now I need to do so.  Since I started blogging again, even though I haven't managed every single day, I'm feeling good about both the contents and the quantity.

My tubes are now tied.  Other than the hole in my tummy, this was not bad at all.  Getting my gall bladder removed was horrible compared to this.  I'm sure it helps that I'm doing as the doctor said and taking my meds as directed.   Amazing how that works, don't you think.

~Thank you, for my family and my friends, and for you. Amen~

Meditating at 1 AM

Will be heading to the hospital in a handful of hours, and am feeling the "normal" case of nervous. Getting my tubes tied. Feeling oh so very permanent about that. Can't sleep, go figure.  Can't eat, so I'm sure I'm starving. Can't even have water, so my mouth is insisting it's very, very dry! For sure!

It's amazing how my mind plays tricks on me.

~Love me, hold me, be with me today. Amen~