Love crochet!

Crocheting hurts my hand when I do it right handed.  It should not surprise me that I have taken so well to crocheting with my left hand (I looked up tutorials on youtube) since I know the basics on how to crochet, it's taken no time to get used to using my left hand to hold the hook. 

I also do some sort of modified, reverse, continental when I knit.  I just don't want my hands to hurt, and I want to knit and crochet. So I do what feels good on my hands and I adapt what I learn from the tutorials to fit.  Of course,  I'm still on basic stitches.  I want to learn more, but feel like I need a more solid foundation before I move on.

~Hold me tonight, I'm so tired. Amen~

Can't believe I used to live like this.

I got sober over 9 years ago, but before that I was a daily user of many different types of mind/mood altering substances.  So, here I am taking my meds as directed by my doctor,  and it's helping the pain, and I can feel it when it's wearing off, and yet it is still making me loopy, loopy.  And I used to live like this.  I am grateful for the reminder; I don't want to live this way anymore!!!

My to do list needs to be updated.  I've accomplished so many of my goals. Now I have a few more goals to add.  A few more calls to make.  A few more jobs to track down...

~Thank you, for today's clarity and tomorrow's lessons. Amen~

I need to send thank you notes...

I did a round a few years ago; sending thank you notes around to friends and family to make sure to vocalize my gratitude.   It's starting to feel like I need to do it again.  I guess I should begin with my gratitude list, as has been suggested to me.  I also need to get better at the daily meditations.   I have a book I'm supposed to be reading each day, now I need to do so.  Since I started blogging again, even though I haven't managed every single day, I'm feeling good about both the contents and the quantity.

My tubes are now tied.  Other than the hole in my tummy, this was not bad at all.  Getting my gall bladder removed was horrible compared to this.  I'm sure it helps that I'm doing as the doctor said and taking my meds as directed.   Amazing how that works, don't you think.

~Thank you, for my family and my friends, and for you. Amen~

Meditating at 1 AM

Will be heading to the hospital in a handful of hours, and am feeling the "normal" case of nervous. Getting my tubes tied. Feeling oh so very permanent about that. Can't sleep, go figure.  Can't eat, so I'm sure I'm starving. Can't even have water, so my mouth is insisting it's very, very dry! For sure!

It's amazing how my mind plays tricks on me.

~Love me, hold me, be with me today. Amen~

I'm not alone!

Standing in a lobby waiting for an employment workshop, and I'm not alone.  I didn't realize that I felt lonely in this struggle with unemployment.   I knew I felt overwhelmed.  I knew I felt almost sad in this place that I've never been before.  I knew I wasn't unsupported,  between family and friends. I've felt very grateful and loved during this struggle.  But now I have visual proof that I am not the only one that has to face this type of situation.  I'm sure that they also have stories similar to mine in spirit if not content.

~Thank you for showing me. Amen.~

Oh, Wow. Just download the Blogger App

I'm not sure why I didn't think of this when I was downloading all those other apps... go figure! This is going to be easier.  Let's see if I utilize it. I feel like I'm just a bit too old fashioned for my age... I think I should have been born in the 60's so that I would have been in my 20's in the 80's...

I have to put on my big girl panties and have some sort of heart to heart with my man. Ugh, not looking forward to it.  But, ultimately,  our relationship is worth the discomfort and growing pains. Now I just need to pray for guidance... Because I really, really have no idea how to even broach the subject... I think I may wait till he isn't fighting the flu! Ha.

~Courage, guidence, hugs please.  Amen.~  

My Motto for 2015

In the words of Ms.  Frizzel "Take chances, make mistakes, get messy."  That's what sums up best how I'm feeling lately and, in part, explains why I changed the name of my blog.  It's less about changing or fixing what happened "before" and more about living in the "now".

I have an appointment on Thursday with someone from the community college about getting into trade school.  I think I would prefer that to getting a Liberal Arts Degree or something like that.  I'm feeling excited.

Then, next week, I do my pre-op for getting my tubes tied on the 20th.

~Guide me, lead me, hug me, please. Amen.~

2015, Here I Am

I've been purging my house and have gotten to the last bits, those corners that will be nice to get to but don't have to be addressed right now.  I find myself looking forward to having time to knit again.  I'm still looking for a job and have decided to look into going to college... never thought I'd say that.  So wish me luck.