4-20

Not a great date for me to begin with... but now it is also the anniversary of the death of the father of my best friend, my not-quite-niece.

Today is a reminder of all of those great memories, and all of the not so great memories.

Sometimes I miss the silliness. Most of the time I don't.

All of it is now experience I can share with others, and old, bad times I can now put to good use.

This Particular Monday

I'm tired, and lonely, and angry, and feeling out of control. The only reason I'm not hungry is because eating seems to be the only vice left. Are vices necessary, if I manage to get rid of this last vice of eating, will I find others to fill the void? I don't want to return to the old vices, I don't know how living life without vices is possible. I want to be a "good person" and I've given up on being "normal" and I'm not strange enough to be "legally insane".

Cookies solve nothing, but they sure taste good!

So, for my next act...

I will be learning how to sync my blackberry with my google, with my gmail, with my blog... and one day I will figure out why Facebook will post some of my stuff from my phone, and not others.

That is all for today, but I would like to rant later when it doesn't work easily, and I feel foolish.

My Birthday is Monday

I've just created a blog.

My son is nursing, I'm at work, and I'm lightheaded because I didn't eat today until two... the start to a promising weekend.